OMAHA, NE- Our sources have led us to the conclusion that the insignificant town west of Omaha, known as Lincoln, has been blown to smithereens.
According to U.S. military officials, they are not going to bother with retaliation.
“Lincoln, NE is so small that casualties were unimportant. Our intelligence does not see this attack as a threat. We believe that this would be way more serious if they had nuked Omaha.” said Col. Steve Rogers, liaison to Omaha from the Pentagon.
We will not report updates on this story as there will be nothing else to say.