A local Bridgewater-Raritan High School Student named Justin Guerrero recently confessed to going into the bathrooms every day, just for the purpose of impulsive ejaculation. “I can’t stop, my dick is just too big” was what he had to say when we asked him for comment. After verification, we have proof that the penis attached to this teen boy is, in fact, way above the average size. However, this is because there is a chronic sperm release mechanism in the upper half.