Local computer technician fat ass Richard Salem purchased Fujitsu laptops from Pakistan for Benedictine high school. This has aroused questions from students and faculty among the school. “Does this mean we support domestic terrorism?” Says junior Aidan Kenny. When questioned, Salem said “DON’T SAY A WORD!” This is also providing some students comfort. Junior A.J Green says “I’m glad I’m not alone anymore, Allah Akbar!” We will be following this story closely, more updates to come