Needless to say the Cowboys have not been living up to standards of anything resembling a professional team. Much like wasting time on casting a vote for Trump, it has been a series of let downs and your chances of having your recycling being picked up on time is just as reliable. In reflection of the performance from the so called “PROFESSIONALS”, rumor has it that the entire team will be dismissed and replaced with a fresh roster consisting of not only players but coaches as well. Possible players but not limited to unique unorthodox talents are already being trained and offered contracts in order to bring an entirely new source of entertainment onto the field and industry. Possible coaches considered will be Terry Bradshaw, Phillip Simmons and Nicholas Cage teamed with Samuel Jackson. Players in training are. Marcus Allen, Too Tall Jones, Jose Conseco, JERRY SEINFELD, BUCKWHEAT, JANICE JOPLIN, WALTER MATHIEU, HARPO MARX, THE PINK PANTHER , Fozzy Bear and O.J. Simpson. This epic structure of serious changes has been directed by long time fan and now hired as the H.N.I C.( head nigga in charge), director Ronnie ( dont touch my beer) Pattison. During interview he claimed ” ahhh …this is fukin bullshit! I was driving trucks since im 13. Before a cdl existed. I skated widda crushed soda can for yrs. Ray Burke would tell ya that”. When asked if he was confident in success he complimented my mustache and asked if he could take it for a ride. Before i had a chance he ran off chasing the Anheiser Bush truck on the avenue. A long shot? Maybe. A long run?…Definintely!….reporting to live live from front of Madame Tse Tse’s rub and tug, im Dik Cox.