CDC: “Heavy Drinking Eases Omicron Variant”

There are some readers out there who will be particularly excited about what the CDC said to MSNBC this Wednesday during a special debriefing.

According to research conducted by Dr. Ilgsr
Francis of Norways top medical school, with the help of the CDC, a double-blind, peer reviewed study led to a strange- butvery real conclusion.

“In our phase 2 study involving over 5,600 healthy participants who happened to be infected with the Omicron Variant (but had no fever), the group of individuals who reported having more than 7 drinks per day actually cleared the virus SARS-Cov2, the virus that causes the novel disease Covid-19, up to twice as fast as their non-drinking peers”.

Researchers and scientists are baffled by the
correlation, but they all seem to agree.
“These findings are statistically too significant for
there not to be a correlation” according to Dr. Grey
Snider, lead researcher from Nebraska State
University’s virology team.

According to Doctor Ava with the CDC:
“It is important that you don’t go out to a bar to do your drinking if you are infected with the Omicron Variant of SARS-Cov2. Rather, you need to have someone who is healthy, and willing to wear an N95 mask, enter a store and buy alcohol for you. This will prevent the already outrageous spread of Omicron in our communities”.

The CDC did not yet respond to our inquiries for further comments.

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