There was an unfortunate incident today when Wavid Nlotzka was getting energy drinks for his family at the local SHEETZ and was suddenly taken hostage by an armed robber.
When police hostage negotiators arrived and found the gunman holding Wavid hostage, they asked how he was doing to which Wavid replied loudly, “NAH, YEAH F*** IT.”
Police were unsure what this meant, but it seemed to distract the armed robber. Wavid then slammed the armed gunman in the face with a 20 oz Red Bull, causing him to drop his pistol. Wavid swiftly took the man’s pistol and karate chopped his neck while simultaneously force-feeding him 800mg gummies.
Police reports indicate the armed robber is convicted of multiple felonies and that he currently “feels great.” Apparently Wavid and him are friends now (See story photo)
Wavid and his family are safe and now they have a sick-ass story to tell their great great grandchildren.
If you’re still reading this you must be bored because now this is just a bunch of filler to make the story seem longer and shit, gnome sayin? Blah blah blah blah fake news and sheeiit go read a book lmao.