Date: April 5th, 2022. 3:00 P.M EST.
Reporter: Nick Burns: Dayton OH, United States.
Today while at a fundraiser for a charity that offers support to teenage mothers in Dayton Ohio, television personality, Phil McGraw, better known as Dr. Phil, spoke at the event to encourage people to lend their support to the organization. However Dr. Phil began to drift from the subject matter as an expected 10 minute support speech turned into a 2 hour rant.
Dr. Phil started off talking about teenage mothers and the support they needed when he mentioned how Jesus had a teenage mother, too. This led Dr. Phil to talk about theology and how when he was in college he considered himself an Arian. This then led Dr. Phil to explain the difference between “Arian” and “Aryan”. Which then led to a lecture about Adolf Hitler, which led to a short statement on Nazis. The Nazi topic led Dr. Phil to talk about the Indiana Jones movies, which led to Dr. Phil publicly admitting that the 1996 movie, “Mars Attacks” is his favorite film of all time and that Dr. Phil has a crush on actress Glenn Close.
As time passed Dr. Phil jumped from Glenn Close to 101 Dalmatians, which led to some rather rude statements about the country of Great Britain and that led to a conversation about Harry Potter and eventually Dr. Phil began to speak about ghost after talking about the ghosts in the Harry Potter book and movie series. Dr. Phil explained that he not only believes in ghost but talks to ghosts and that the movie the “Sixth Sense” was more like a documentary than anything else. Dr. Phil explained how him and Elvis use to talk all the time but Elvis made Dr. Phil’s wife uncomfortable so Dr. Phil called the Ghost Busters to get rid of Elvis. Dr. Phil then sang two Elvis songs and mentioned how he was planning on doing a Christmas Album by the year 2027.
The speech finally ended with Dr. Phil talking about Christmas and how teenage mothers need help during the holidays more than ever. After the speech dozens of reporters and fans attempted to ask Dr. Phil questions about his unconventional speech but he ignored questions by running through the crowd while screaming the lyrics to “Kentucky Rain”. The baffling event has led to many questions and even conspiracy theories popping up. However Dr. Phil’s agent said to reporters after Dr. Phil ran away singing that Dr. Phil had spent the night with Kayne West, Elon Musk, and Nicholas Cage at a bar in Cleveland, Ohio and that Dr. Phil wasn’t his usual self due to the rather extreme night.
After Dr. Phil left the stage, former First Lady and Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, spoke and she spent most of her 10 minutes talking about what she would’ve done differently had the 2016 election not gone poorly.