On the evening of June 16 2022, an apparently rabid Aussie Swedish hybrid ran amok in central Edinburg. With zero regard for public etiquette, and and apparent hunger for wildlife, this Pilsner fueled beast drummed up a storm not seen since William Wallace’s siege that broke the English rule.
What happened next is up for debate. Some say he transformed into a keg of beer to hibernate and replenish. Others believe he climbed a tree to mate with a raccoon he was last spotted courting at a local pub.
If anyone has news regarding this public hazard, please contact police officer Barsik at 1-800-MIAU4LAW.