Explosive Hemorrhoid Kills 13

Officials are on the site of devastating plane crash today in which we are told a “doorknob sized” hemorrhoid forcibly exploded mid flight causing extensive damage to an Americans Airlines flight out of Denver International Airport.
The woman had reportedly been suffer from the severe hemorrhoids for a few days leaving many to wonder if she should have been flying in the first place. One NTSB worker who asked to remain anonymous said, “Are hemorrhoids the new bomb? Do we need to do butt hole checks at TSA now!? Come on people!”
Another official reported the anal speed bump ruptured with remarkable force killing those around the woman instantly and covering the interior of the plane in what can only be described as a horrifying substance.
This tragic incident gives a new meaning to the word “rhoidrage”