On August 4th Biggie Cheese the famous Jamaican rapper (AKA biggus cheesus) was shot 3 times in the chest, one in the shoulder. He is now sustaining critical injuries inside the royal MEN hospital. Biggie cheese was enjoying himself at the local chuck E cheese in Northkoreatown in south texas possibly preparing to film a music video for his new release “Boats and Hoes”. The shooter was caught after the police arrived and were identified as a “Beau Pring” of Sunshine Coast. He is awaiting trial in South Sudan as we speak. The motive is still unknown as Beau Pring is still not confessing and giving any information on the motivation of the shooting, whether it was targeting Biggus or was just out of pure violence and Mr. Cheesus just happened to be there. Beau Pring is believed to be a gang member, or as they call them in Australia an “eshay dog”. Biggus Cheesus still is yet to give his statement as he has been in a medical induced coma for the last 48 hours.