Birmingham (England, not Alabama) was hit by a surprise nuclear strike last night, around 10 pm. It is believed that most of the city was destroyed in the blast, which had an estimated yield of around 100 kilotons, which is the equivalent to 5 Nagasaki “Fat Man” devices used to end the second world war. Up to 1 million people are assumed to have perished in the blast.
A spokesperson for the UK government declined to comment further, other than saying “thank fuck we don’t have Boris as Prime Minister any more.”
It is currently unclear who is responsible for the bomb.