Boynton Beach natives and local Brazilian oligarchs the Von Sohsten family recently had Thanksgiving dinner like any normal family would on the third Thursday in November. Except actually all the guys had vaginas and all the chicks had cocks.
In a shocking turn of events in the neighborhood of Canyon Springs located on Lyons Road just north of Boynton Beach Blvd. our reporter Connor Dodge, who is gay and l believe moving to Spain (allegedly), went undercover to find out the truth about these fucking wacked out wetbacks. And by undercover I mean the table cloth of the dinner table to investigate who had which genitalia.
One local man was quoted saying, “I haven’t been able to sleep at night since I learned they’re not actually white but not actually Hispanic, and I think they tried to claim they were Jewish too, someone needs to go over there and see if they’re trans or what.” So that’s exactly what Connor did
While slurping down gravy and Turkey skins and speaking some jiberish that could only be described as “pork and cheese” Connor unzipped and unfastened the belts of the family to get to the bottom of this mystery that’s been rattling the community for decades. What he found was shocking…
“All the males had slopping wet vaginers and the females had big huge veiny cocks I’ve never seen anything like it.” Said the young twink who was shaking with a jurnt in hand.
This information is currently being processed by the Boynton Beach Police Department as well as the FBI and the fucking Mosad too??? Anyways I’d fucking hate to be those fuckers