BREAKING — A WHITE MAN HAS LANDED ON MARS!

After 20 years without a sight of the white man, we have finally seen one. However, he comes with terrible news. He reports that multiple cities and towns have been destroyed and millions have died due to a civil war between the people on Earth. The major cities that have been destroyed are: Columbus, New Orleans, Atlanta, Greenwater, Tampa, Fulton, Memphis, New York City, Laredo, and Harlem. He says only 500,000 remain on Earth, and he has come asking for our help. He says that he needs our help to keep the white people alive.

I am talking with Willie Johnson, let’s see what he has to say. “Well at first I was furious, I mean I brought a mob to kill this man. But after hearing what he had to say I felt that he had already suffered enough and there was no need to take it any further.”

Next to me is his wife, Hattie Johnson. She told reporters, “My husband always overreacts, he wasn’t acting human!”

Let’s hope that this white man fulfills his promises and hopefully we can be a functioning society, together forever.

This is Channel 33 News, goodnight.

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