To the extent that too researchers at John’s Hopkins University can measure, SARS Covid-19 Virus can be contained by simply playing more fucking Madden 23. In a single participant study done out of Denver, Colorado, one individual was seen recovering at an all time record speed just by playing Madden, and smoking a shit ton of marijuana. Direct quote from the individual, “I really just want to bring awareness to Madden 23 and all the positive benefits it can bring people suffering from the Vid”.
Channel 33 news, this is Ron Burgundy.