It was a rather cold evening in Lake Wales, FL when 46 year old wannabe pirate Edd Horrcocks broke into the home of 36 year old Jonathon Knight. Mr. Knight is a ginger bearded rent boy and Horrcocks demanded some arse abuse from him.
“It was rather terrifying. I was jamming out to some Taylor Swift I mean some Judas Priest when he broke in. He screamed YAR YAR YAR!! I NEED SOME ARSE ABUSE YOU GINGER BEARDED BACK DOOR MERCHANT!!” Jonathon told our reporter.
Officer D.J. Walls said this isn’t the first time Mr. Horrcocks broke into someone’s home. “Unfortunately this isn’t our first run in with Edd Horrcocks. He’s broken into the homes of 17 different people this year alone and always demands anal sex” Officer Walls told us.
One of his other victims, a rent boy who asked to be called “John Smith” said Ed Horrcocks is well known among all rent boys. “we call him the grand canyon because that’s how big his asshole is” John Smith said with a snicker.
Jonathon Knight’s dog, Duke Knight, found the incident rather amusing. “Woof” Duke barked at us.
Billy Infinity, a local artist, told us “I’m not afraid of him. My door is unlocked and I’m waiting in my room naked. Bring it horrcocks!!”
As of this report a bail has not been set for Edd Horrcocks. Will keep you updated.