CROMWELL, CT- A Colored he/him busted into Chicago Sam’s club room door after lighting up the bouncer with his unregistered fire arm. The banana eating feller then proceeded to annihilate two more of his opps before in-taking cocaine off of a banana peel. anonymous witness POC she/they- “it really looked like chicago in there, on god, no cap.” It is unclear why this man did this, Cromwell PD had this to say: “This is obviously gang related. c’mon now. look at the surface. nuff said.” Police are still investigating, and have recovered the aforementioned cocaine banana peel on scene as evidence. Any tips or evidence please dial (860)-353-5353