An 82 year old senior from Ottawa, Canada is under fire as he’s accused of public mischief, harassment and spreading misinformation.
Employees at the Innes Rd Walmart confirm authorities have been contacted numerous times in complaints against local liberal Rishi Sood, also known as Pedigree Brown. Documents obtained claim that Sood is a frequent patron of Walmart. Some of the experts confirm that Sood regularly purchases analog and digital clocks and watches, only to return them the following day because he “does not approve of the time”.
The shopper then proceeds to be a public disturbance with anti vax, misogynistic rhetoric whilst lashing out at Walmart customer service employees. Experts say that while the buyers remorse policy loopholes do allow Sood to exercise his right to return the products, his increased mistrust of the concept of time is concerning. “We see a link between changing the concept of time, anti mask, anti government and transphobic ideology.” Says Officer Definitive. “Although most of our models also link this behaviour with colonialist white supremacist behaviours, this case study entices us a little bit more as Sood is in fact, an Indian man” He continued.
More on this at the top of the hour.
Last updated: 4:28PM January 16 2023