Local thief, arsonist and serial masturbator, Luke Alexander (28 pictured) has been caught with stolen goods from the local pub the Star Tavern. Alexander was discovered early hours of Friday morning taking 3kg of sausages from the back freezer. Staff were disappointed to find this out as they were planning a sausage sizzle on Sunday as part of a fundraiser. Alexander has been banned from the establishment, if he plays up again charges will be pressed.