Breaking News: John Nelson Comes Out As A Non-Binary Homosexual Jew

J. Nelson is a being of many talents. One of those being extremely flexible. He has explored his flexibility to the limits to learn more about himself. Here is a direct quote by Nelson, “I was laying in bed, pretzel position, and realized with enough torque and direction, I could place my erect penis around my rectum. Boy did I love that new feeling. WHAT IS UP HOMOS, LETS START FUCKIN.” As you can clearly see, Mr Nelson has completely transitioned. I’m shocked and worried for his roommates, but I assure they will now be locking their doors. We should have seen this cuming (gay joke).

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