Biden Declares Mandatory Pause of All International Athletes Due to Declining Foreign Relations

On March 31st, 2023, President Joe Biden mandated an indefinite suspension of all international college-competing athletes. This order is said to stem from the declining international relations the United States is currently experiencing. Athletes from Slovakia, Slovenia, Germany, Russia, Belarus, Spain, Belgium, and others are said to be the motive behind this new order. All sports are said to be affected.

Actually, just kidding. Love you, alexei.

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