Last night at 10:34 PM, Harry Styles was involved in a tragic car accident. Reports state that his health is in tact, and he will make a full recovery. This does not lessen the intensity of this incident, and it is rumored that he will be in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days.
Styles was planning a secret reuniting event with former co-star Louis Tomlinson, who was there to see the collision. He has yet to put an official statement out, likely due to his full attention on the healing of Styles.
Information was withheld for 8 hours after the accident, but this didn’t prevent rumors from spreading. Some speculated that he had died and ascended to the sky, while others say that he got right back up and gave Tomlinson a wet kiss. None of these statements have been proven true, and they may be a result of fear-mongering.
One of the witnesses was The Cures lead singer, Robert Smith. In a recent interview related to his tour, Smith talked briefly about the horrifying event.
“I remember seeing how he flew- it was terrible. Truly so horrible. Harry is quite a nice man, who deserves more than he gets. I was going to call an ambulance, but thankfully Tomlinson was quick to act and called them before me. My british brother should hopefully recover before our offical affair begins. I want to kiss his shining chest and hold his pulsing member, appreciating every inch. I know he’d fill me up, and my hole expands just imagining his fa-“
Smith then suddenly fell into a sleep.
After Styles regained consciousness, he said –
“Bruv, I understand Trisha now. Her song about Jesus came to me in my slumber and Christ himself whispered sweet nothings to me. Daddy wants an affair with Jesus.”
After making these claims, Styles sang a song by Skylar Love. While his cover was beautiful, one of the most concerning details about his awakening was the absence of his signature british accent. Perhaps it was a result of his coma? Mommy will never know…
happy apilr fool farm i loe you meah mesh sorry if i gave you a little scary scare