Today at 7:58 pm UTC, King Charles III peacefully passed with loved ones gathered at Buckingham Palace. The cause of death has not determined the cause of death. The palace reports his finally words were, “My old chair Is like a big comfy friend
It’s soft and it’s fuzzy With a brownish orangey blend But the padding is gone, and I’m sorry to say I think it’s time for me to throw my chair away Ohhh nooo…. So I sit in you one last time I promise not to cry Pull on your handle, then recline and say l goodbye So I put you out on the curb And I wish you good luck Then I see a guy with a mullet drive by And put you in the back of his truck And I hope that he’ll be good to you Do the things that I couldn’t do And I hope he gives you more than me
I hope that he is good company But when I climb into my bed And I turn off the lights I’ll be wondering, who is farting in your cushion tonight
I could always fart on you, you were always in the mood Even that one summer when I was eating lots of Indian food But I miss you more than ever and I know I’m to blame I guess I can fart on the couch now, but baby it’s just not the same And I miss you baby ohh so much Your giant buttons and your velvet touch And I miss you more than anything The ball poking of your broken spring If loving a chair is wrong I don’t wanna be right
So I’m wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight Do you remember the night We watched the movie Nobert And everytime I broke wind You were happy to absorb it And after I go jogging My sweaty ass would get your seat wet And when I accidentally shat in my pants You kept it a secret
And I think that I should let you know I’m sorry that I let you go And everyday I hope I see My chair on the curb just waiting for me I dream about you all the time And I hope you’re all right Thats why I’m wondering who is farting in your cushion tonight
Cause I wish it was me who is farting in your cushion tonight”. The reports are still underway.