Harrisburg, PA –
Representative David Maloney, (R-Berks County), minority chair of the House Game & Fisheries Committee, has begun crafting legislation to exterminate all predators from Pennsylvania’s landscape.
“We have a predation problem!” stated Mr. Maloney during the Game & Fisheries hearing with the PA Game Commission. Representative Maloney is the preeminent sportsmen of Pennsylvania politics, almost bagging a coveted PA triple trophy a few years ago.
Unnamed sources indicated Maloney will be targeting not only the US national symbol Bald Eagles, but also fishers, pine martins, black bears, bobcats, wolves, mountain lions, any and all snakes, and also weasels, voles, and moles.
“I taught Dr. Gary Alt about the predation issues with black bears when he was a young and inexperienced biologist” said Maloney. “Now, we have an issue with eagles eating our stocked trout!” he said. When asked if he thought the American Robin was impacting the fishing experience for Pennsylvania’s older fishermen, the Representative referred this reporter to Mr. Randy Santucci. “Yeah, they probably are,” he said. “I see them bob bob bobbin’ along in my lawn, eating up all the worms that we could be using to catch fish. We can add them to the legislation if Randy wants.”
The relationship between Mr. Santucci and Representative Maloney is a very refreshing sight amongst Pennsylvania politicians. Whereas most Representative’s take pride in representing their District and their constituents, it’s unusual to see a Representative reaching all the way from eastern PA to western PA to support the views of a non-constituent. When asked about this unusual alliance, Maloney simply said “That’s nonya! I believe Randy and the Unified Sportsmen of Pennsylvania are well represented in my District. There’s at least 2 or 3 members of USP that live in or near Berks County.”