In a stunning move, Delia da Costa, a woman who has long fought the ravages of aging, has announced that for her birthday she will be receiving a new age-freezing technology that will keep her forever at age 47. The technology, developed by a team of mad scientists, involves a complex process of freezing and unfreezing the body’s cells in a way that prevents them from aging. It’s based on a scientific method that the team calls “Freezy Science.” According to the team’s leader, Dr. Freeze, the method involves freezing the body’s cells to a temperature of -273.15 degrees Celsius (which just so happens to be absolute zero), and then thawing them out with a special blend of ice cream and sprinkles. The result, he says, is a body that is forever young and vibrant. Ms. da Costa, who has long been a believer in the power of science to overcome the limitations of the human body, says she’s thrilled with the results. “I’ve always wanted to stay young and beautiful forever,” she said in a statement. “And now, thanks to Dr. Freeze and his team of mad scientists, I can.” But not everyone is convinced of the merits of Freezy Science. Some scientists have criticized the method, saying it’s based on faulty science and could even be dangerous. Dr. Bunsen, a rival scientist, says the Freezy Science team’s claims are “pure nonsense.” “Freezing cells to absolute zero is impossible,” he said. “And even if it were possible, the process of thawing them out with ice cream and sprinkles would be completely ineffective.” But Ms. da Costa isn’t listening to the naysayers. She says she’s looking forward to a long and youthful life, thanks to the power of Freezy Science. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds,” she said. “And I’m sure it will be just as sweet as a bowl of ice cream with sprinkles.” Her husband Frank was very pleased “I’ll never have to buy another gift”