Guilford electrician and family man Michael H. Clifford, age 59, was arrested this past Friday, July 6th 2023 at 9:07pm est on charges related to sodomy of an animal. Police chief Juan Mendez addressed the public this morning stating that Mr. Clifford was taken incident or resistance from his home on union street after obtaining an arrest warrant. The charges come after an incident at the south Hampton zoo where witnesses claim they say Michael go back behind employee only doors and make his way down to the bonobo enclosure with a catchpole, a tool used to catch and hold the zoo’s animals from a safe distance. Mr. Clifford was then seen removing his jeans and underwear and tossing them to the side as he approached a young male chimp while squeezing his flaccid 4 inch hog with one hand. The disgraced electrician proceeded to anally penetrate Zach the bonobo for 34 minutes until completion. One witness who filmed the encounter on their new Samsung Galaxy S23 Ultra said that what Mr. Clifford did to that scared creature was not only justified it was long overdue. We reached out to his son Robbert Clifford for comment who told us “my dad can fuck whatever he wants and we will fight and beat this case in the courtroom”. A funeral for Zach the chimp will be held this sunday behind the South Hampton zoos churro stand, I will not be in attendance.