Police responded to a 911 call at 9:23pm, Sunday night on Cock Street. Witnesses say 17 year old Taveon Elijah Han Smith was masturbating inside a Porta Potty. This isn’t his first incident, for just a few months ago he was caught roaming the streets stroking his John while hanging from light poles. One man claimed he only had one Nike sock and a pair of American eagle boxers on. “The boxers had a shit streak in them.” He was yelling racial slurs and calling elderly African American citizens negroes. Police frantically chased him around the county on foot until he surrendered with his ass up. He is now in solitary confinement awaiting what could be life imprisonment.