Nintendo fans have been looking forward to “Splatoon”, Nintendo’s newest shooter that features pitting kids who have been modified by squid genes against each other in a “splatacularly fun” arena of ink and destruction. Only one issue: Nintendo seems to have completely dropped the ball in the local department, offering a limited selection of maps, weapons, and only one game mode—which has players shooting at inanimate objects for two minutes.
James Fabid, age 17, stated that all of his friends stopped coming over to his house after he had them play it with him once. “I was really looking forward to having intense gun battles like we always did on Halo back in the day—but instead we just had to shoot balloons. My friends all groaned while playing, it was pretty embarrassing.” James continued on, putting his face in his hands during the interview. “I mean it’s quite possibly the worst thing I’ve ever played.”
It seems as though Nintendo still has a certain aura of cluelessness when it comes to pleasing their fans. While the online multiplayer can offer hours of fast paced fun, its incredibly limited local counterpart offers about as much content and fun as a barrel of monkeys. Most players will find themselves playing once before realizing just how awful it truly is and never touching it again.
Do you still plan on picking up Splatoon? Have you already and regret offering it for Friday game night? Do you hate GameStop even more for not letting you trade it in for a copy of Call of Duty: Black Ops II? Let us know in the comments!