DISCLAIMER: This is a retake of The Evil Math Team.
Before we start I like to tell you about Team Umizoomi if you are living under a rock.
The show is about a trio of tiny superheroes named Milli, Geo and Bot who use mathematics to solve whatever problems occur in and around their home of Umi City.
However, there is only one problem, the story begins here…
I was minding my business, putting away the clothes.
Just then, the doorbell rang.
“The doorbell rang again?” I asked.
I went to the door and opened it, outside was a package.
I then opened up the package and it was a Team Umizoomi DVD.
The DVD cover had Milli, Geo and Bot in a background of Umi City with a text above them saying “Team Umizoomi: The Complete Series!”.
I then opened up the DVD and put it into the DVD player, getting ready to watch it.
It started with the Nickelodeon logo but it was off.
The letters were red tinted and the background was black.
After the logo and lots of promos, it cut to the main menu which looked amazing.
The menu featured Milli, Geo and Bot in the background of Fountain Headquarters.
I pressed play to watch all of the episodes, but before any could play, a warning came up with the same style as the credits.
“Warning: This DVD contains an episode of Team Umizoomi never got a chance to air on Nick Jr. because it was the only one made by a former animator of Curious Pictures, he goes by the name Kenny Burton. Burton was fired because the episode contained scenes and/or language with gore that was not at all suitable for younger kids, please watch at your own risk!”
“Not this one again!” I muttered.
The DVD began at the first episode from 2010 called “The Kite Festival” and the last episode from 2015 called “Umi Rescue Copter”, after these episodes played, are you not gonna hate or watch what your gonna read next?!
The intro played, except the logo’s bordering was black, while the letters where red, and the sky was dark red (which was supposed to represent blood), and the music was demonic, but nobody minded it, Not Even Team Umizoomi as they were filming the intro.
After that weird intro, the episode started.
It was called “Mortality in Umi City”.
The episode started at Umi Fountain.
Milli, Geo and Bot were looking up at the blood red sky.
“Oh hi, I’m Milli.” Millie greeted, in the voice of her original voice actor Sophie Fox.
“I’m Geo” Geo greeted
“And I’m Bot!” Bot greeted. “Hello, hello!”
“We’re glad you came over, there’s something wrong with the sky!” Milli spoke.
“Why is the sky red?” Geo asked, confused.
“I’m not sure geo!” Bot stated. “But we better find out who did it, right here on my belly belly…”
“Belly screen!” The trio screamed in excitement.
Just then, a shadowy figure appeared on bot’s Belly Screen.
“What is that?” Milli asked Geo and Bot.
Milli, Geo and Bot turned gasped as the figure came out of Bot’s belly screen.
“Who are you?!” Geo asked in fear.
“No questions, math heroes!” The figure exclaimed. “You are my next vessels!”
“Next vessels?!” Bot gasped. “What do you mean?!”
“Because you are next!” The figure berated as he grabbed Milli, Geo and Bot by the neck.
“LET ME GO!” Milli yelled.
“Oh fuck!” Bot shouted.
However, he started to choke them. Milli, Geo and Bot screamed as they were being choked.
However, while Team Umizoomi was being choked, their looks changed.
Milli now had her pony tails drooping, and her suit was in the shades of red.
Geo now had his roller skates and outfit in the shades of red and his shape belt was black, the shapes were in shades of red.
Bot now had his metal rusted, his Umi-Alarm was drooping, and his belly-screen was cracked.
Milli, Geo and Bot fell to the floor with no pulse.
Just then Milli, Geo and Bot got up, but didn’t say anything.
“We are no longer team umizoomi!” Milli reminded. “We are from now on…”
“The evil ones!” The trio spoke in demonic voices.
Team Umizoomi decided to use their new found powers for evil.
“What happened?!” Geo gasped.
“I don’t know. But with these new powers we’re gonna destroy Umi city, Nobody can stop us now!” Bot berated.
“Yeah!” Geo agreed.
“Let’s, wait, hold on! We are gonna assassinate everyone in this town, and if the police finds out about this, we are screwed.” Milli told Geo and Bot.
“All Of Us!” Geo told them
“it’s time for action!” the Trio chorused.
The episode then cut to Umi Car looking around where Milli, Geo and Bot were.
“Where are they?” He asked in confusion.
I was stunned to hear Umi Car speak.
“I can talk?!” Umi Car gasped. “Hell yeah, I can!”
Just then, Team Umizoomi appeared (somehow teleported into the shot)
“Hello, Umicar.” Milli greeted sinisterly.
“Team Umizoomi?” Umi Car questioned. “Is that you?”
“Sorry, but they possessed me. And guess what? We are now evil!” Geo told Umi Car.
“Oh come on! Why can’t you just leave me alone? And why are you now evil?” Umi Car stuttered.
“Don’t ask. Now this is something you shouldn’t see everyday!” Bot reminded.
“WHAT?!” Umi Car gasped.
“EVERYDAY!” Bot yelled.
“Say adios, puta.” Geo spoke.
Team Umizoomi pulled out chainsaws and walked towards Umi-Car and rammed them up towards his hood.
Umi-Car screamed in agony as he was being tortured.
The evil ones then left the HQ and “We Are Team Umizoomi Song” was playing in the background, however since they were now evil, the lyrics were changed. and the instrumental was demonic.
“Who’s gonna kill everyone?” Bot asked
“All of us!” the trio answered.
“Who’s gonna kill everyone?” Geo asked
“We are evil!” the trio answered.
“We’re on a mission to destroy the city!” the trio chorused “Here we come we’re on our way!”
“We’re gonna kill everyon-” Bot spoke but before he could finish his sentence, it instantly cut to black. I could only hear Bot being slapped and his scream.
After the song ended, the Scene then cut to Door Mouse at a gate.
“Where is everybody?” Door Mouse asked.
Just then, Milli, Geo and Bot appeared, startling him.
“Team Umizoomi?” Door Mouse questioned. “Is that you?”
“Sorry!” Milli told Door Mouse sinisterly. “But… They possessed me, and guess what? We are now evil.”
“W-w-what d-d-do y-you m-m-mean?” Door Mouse whimpered.
“THERE IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WILL NOT SEE ALL DAY!” Geo berated.
“WHAT?!” Door Mouse gasped.
Geo then built a chainsaw with his shape-belt and walked towards Door Mouse with it.
“No! Please, Team Umizoomi!” Door Mouse pleaded. “Don’t do this!”
“Sorry, but I’m afraid it’s too late.” Bot stated. “Say your last words, mouse!”
“What the hell?! I’ll call NCIS about this!” Door Mouse shouted.
“You can’t call the police on me then…” Geo sinisterly replied.
Geo then rammed his chainsaw up Door Mouse’s chest.
Door Mouse screamed in agony as he was being tortured by Geo, but it sounded realistic when his voice actor (Chris Phillips) was being tortured.
It then showed a shot of The Shape Bandit who was getting ready to steal some shapes with his shape snatching whirl wind.
“All I gotta do is steal some shapes.” The Shape Bandit said to himself.
Right before he could steal some shapes, Team Umizoomi teleported into the shot.
“Hello, Shape Bandit.” Bot greeted sinisterly.
“GET LOST!” The Shape Bandit berated. “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M TRYING TO STEAL SOME SHAPES?!”
“Oh, really?” Milli asked. “Then how about… I’m summoning NO OTHER THAN A PORTAL!”
“WHAT?!” The Shape Bandit gasped.
Milli then pulled out a bag and opened it to reveal a portal that resembled Hell.
“No!” The Shape Bandit begged Team Umizoomi. “Please! You can’t do this! Stop! Now!”
“Who cares? Now you’re going to hell, have fun and it’s goodbye time.” Geo replied.
Geo kicked the Shape Bandit into the portal, but it cut to black for 13 seconds, i could only hear Shape Bandit screaming as he was falling until a fiery explosion was heard.
“Poor Shape Bandit…” I muttered fearlessly.
It then showed Dump Truck who was getting ready to cheat.
Just then, Team Umizoomi teleported behind Dump Truck.
“TEAM UMIZOOMI?!” Dump Truck gasped. “Is that you?!”
I was shocked, that Dump Truck has never spoken throughout the show before.
“Of course it is us!” Milli answered.
“Then what happened to you?” Dump Truck asked, confused.
“They possessed us… And… Oh no, we are now evil!” Milli revealed.
“THE EVIL WHAT?!” Dump Truck questioned in horror.
“We mean it! All of us are evil but now, you’re dead…” Bot reminded Dump Truck.
“Uh oh…” Dump Truck whimpered.
Bot then took out a pin and popped Dump Truck’s tires with it, then he blew up Dump Truck with some dynamite.
Dump Truck screamed as he was being blown up.
“WHAT?!” i screamed.
It then cut to the Troublemakers getting ready to cause some trouble.
Suddenly, The team appeared out of nowhere.
“Hello, Troublemakers.” Milli greeted sinisterly.
“DON’T YOU SAY “HELLO, TROUBLEMAKERS.” TO US!” Little Trouble yelled. “WE’RE TRYING TO CAUSE SOME TROUBLE OVER HERE, GET LOST!”
“Yeah!” Big Trouble agreed. “Get lost!”
“Oh, yeah?” Geo asked mockingly. “Try causing trouble when you DIE!”
“WHAT?!” The Troublemakers gasped.
Bot then took out a Smart Bombs (from the StarFox video games.) and threw it was the Troublemakers as they both blew to smithereens.
The Troublemakers then blew up as they screamed in anguish.
The team then laughed as they were causing so much damage,
“This is so crazy!” Bot yelled in a demonic tone.
It then showed a montage of Team Umizoomi murdering everyone, including The Blue Mermaid, Square Beard, Little Ghost and the others.
Then it cut to black for 30 seconds.
After that, it faded to the fate of Umi City, everything was in ruins and on fire.
The screams of every character were heard while a creepy distorted music box version of the “Crazy Shake” song was playing in the background.
All of a sudden, Milli, Geo and Bot walked into the shot with creepy smiles.
“Greetings, everyone!” Milli greeted.
“We killed everyone in Umi City!” Geo agreed. “And burned the whole city down!”
“If you are seeing this, you are going to be murdered!” Bot berated. “So long and say so lon-”
Before Bot could finish his sentence, they could hear sirens going off.
“OH SHOOT!” Milli yelled. “It’s the police!”
“Uh oh… They’re gonna find out we did something horrible at Umi City…” Bot shouted.
“I agree… We need to get out quickly…” Geo reminded.
Milli, Geo and Bot began running away while screaming as it faded to black, but i could only hear a police officer say “STOP RIGHT THERE!”.
The episode came to a close and the credits rolled, but they were off.
The background was red, the text was black and the music that was playing was an instrumental version of “Six Little Chickens” from Willy’s Wonderland.
“Uh oh…” I muttered.
Then it showed the logos, but they were off.
The Curious Pictures logo came up, but the text was blood red and the background was on fire while the dot was injured.
The Nickelodeon logo came up, but the letters looked like they’re EATEN.
I didn’t even have time to bother, I took the disk and bent into pieces to put into the dustbin.
(The end.)