This article is written with a severe sense of urgency as a new pandemic is spreading across the globe. The cause? Similarly to COVID-19, a certain soup was involved. However, this was not bat soup. Instead, a young man named Leo was caught eating a soup composed of outdated vegetables… carrots and lettuce.
People tried to take the soup bowl from him, but he started twitching and recoiling, barking out “Give me a carrot! Give me rettuce! There are rumors that a certain Chinese bunny was also in the pot, but this is not confirmed.
This terrifying disease can be combatted. Professor Desmond Benjamin of Stanford states, “Stay inside.”
More to come.