Since the rise of social media, new waves of addiction have taken over the youth. Namely, porn and Fortnite. According to Dr. Wadhwa, “The average teen can’t go 30 minutes without full boxing or XVids.” This quote wasn’t the only thing he dropped. A product of society, he immediately dropped his pants and pulled up the Hub in the privacy of his bedroom.
“Breckie Hill Goes Wild!” His screen read. The opening lore started playing, and then the star of the show, Breckie Hill, made her appearance, dressed as a nurse.
Just then, the plaster ceiling above his head starting quivering, and Jynxzi, Breckie Hill’s latest fling, came crashing down, directly onto Neil’s rod.
“Leave my girl alone!” Neil gave no response. He embarrassingly shut his phone off and zipped up his fly. He showed Jynxzi the way out and returned to his bedroom, which now had a Jynxzi-sized skylight.
Now, he was too nervous to pull up anything on his phone, so he decided to pursue the other aforementioned desire, Fortnite.
He loaded up his PS5, loaded up the renowned game and partied up with Advik and Nived.
The duo greeted Neil with open arms at first.
“What’s up Melon,” Advik happily exclaimed.
“Hey Daddy,” Nived softly moaned.
“Hey guys, let’s get this dub.” The trio queued into a match, and the team landed at the densely populated Tilted Towers. Right off the bat, Advik and Nived racked up 15 kills. Neil sat at 0.
Just then, catastrophe struck. Nived and Advik wiped out 2/3 of a trio, and got the last one to 5 HP. Then, Advik and Nived were knocked from their builds, killing them to fall damage.
“Neil, this is a free clutch.”
Neil shook with fear. 5 HP, that’s all he needed. He took out his shotgun, and got eyes on the target. But he was seen. All he needed to do was hit the shot. The enemy came charging at him.
This is my chance, Neil thought. At this point, the opponent was feet away. He aimed carefully, and… MISSED! He immediately got 200 pumped, sending the crew back to the lobby. Nived could not grapple with this defeat, and immediately kicked Neil from the party.
Now, Neil sat in his room, alone, wondering how to satisfy his needs. He thought a movie might ease his mind and distract him for a bit, so he went to the nearest cinema. He was set on seeing a new blockbuster: Kung Fu Panda 4.
He entered the building and went to the concessions. In front of him, was a pretty girl that Neil immediately took an interest in. Reports say she was 8 years of age, but younger is not out of the picture.
“Excuse me girl… I think you’re beautiful. Tryna see Kung Fu Panda 4 with me?” The girl hadn’t fully learned to speak yet, but nodded.
They went to concessions and asked for a large popcorn.
The vendor asked a question that would eventually lead to a harsh case. “You might be familiar with the extinction of the great pandas… would you like to buy a Kung Fu Panda Popcorn bucket to support the cause?”
Neil pondered for a minute, but then happily purchased it. After all, he was fond of the pandas.
They entered the theater and sat down. Previews played (By this time, the popcorn was already eaten), and then the show started. After 15 minutes, Neil was bored. But then, he had an incredible idea to satisfy his fervent needs.
He softly whipped out both a pocket knife and his schlong, and cut a hole in the bottom of the container of the popcorn, and asked his companion if she wanted some. She reached into the container, expected buttery movie popcorn, but no. She felt the tip, and thought nothing of it, she felt the shaft and thought she was crazy, but once she felt the bush, she knew she was sane. Neil had successfully pulled off the most infamous trick in the book. However, he was immediately taken into custody and could serve life.
More to come.