I would like to tell some of you about a 2006 Playhouse Disney show “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” if you are living under rocks.
The show is about Mickey Mouse and his pals going on adventures while using mouseketools from Toodles to fix problems, however i encountered a problem too, so here’s where our story begins.
I was having fun in the backyard, until I accidentally stepped on a DVD.
“Oh…” I thought “Who would leave this here?”
My questions got ahead of me so I snatch the DVD and it was a “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse” DVD titled “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse – To the Clubhouse”, the cover consists of Mickey, Minnie, Goofy Donald, and Pluto standing by the clubhouse.
I went to my portable DVD player, and proceeded to put the disc in.
The DVD started with the FBI warning screen, the came the Disney Home Entertainment logo which was normal. But when it got to the Disney Junior logo, the background was red, the letters are covered with cracks and the I looks like it was shot, and it somehow started to speak.
“I’ve heard that Mickey had hired the FBI to attack me… there’s nothing i can do… Just save yourself, and tell the FBI to leave…” The logo whispered.
After its speech, the Disney Junior jingle played, but it was horror themed.
After the Disney Junior logo faded out, there was a warning.
“Warning: this episode was originally made for Season 4, written by Serena Hustric. it will have content that are not suitable for viewers under 18 to watch, so please watch this and see for yourself. Viewer discretion is strongly advised…
“Oh…” I whispered “I hope this episode is not related to content with mature audiences…”
The intro started playing, but the sky was red and foggy, but nobody noticed it not even Mickey, but when it got to the title card it read “Mickey and the FBI”.
The title had blue sirens all over, and some blood stains too, it then showed Mickey greeting the viewer “Hiya everybody! welcome to our clubhouse.” Mickey then looked at the red and foggy weather, “Whoa! it sure is foggy today!” it shows Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, and Toodles arriving at the clubhouse.
“Hey! What’s wrong with the sky!” Donald asked.
”I’m not sure.” Daisy whimpered.
”That’s what I was going to say from the start!” I agreed.
“I know!” he dials 911 on his phone.
”Mickey! What are you doing?” Goofy said in shock.
“I knew he was going to call the FBI!” I said under my breath.
Once the FBI came to the clubhouse, Mickey has now become the leader of the FBI, he had a dark blue hat with matching coat that reads “FBI” on it, he had black pants, and red boots.
“Oh my!” Minnie gasped, “What just happened?!” Goofy questioned in horror.
“I’m hired by the FBI to shoot all of you, and everyone in my clubhouse.” Mickey berated in a demonic voice.
“Uh… Mickey, what are you…” but before Minnie could finish her sentence, Mickey and the FBI shot her as she lets out a blood curdling scream as if her voice actress “Russi Taylor” is severly injured, Goofy, Pluto, Donald, and Daisy gasped as they saw Minnie’s courpse,
“What’s the matter pals, miss a club member? fear not you are right behind her.” Mickey says in a sinister way, as he shoots Goofy, Pluto, Donald, and Daisy they all screamed as if their voice actors are absolutely horrified.
Just then Toodles went over to Mickey and confronted him.
“Mickey, you and the FBI must stop shooting people.”
“Stop… Shooting People?” Mickey asks in a demonic voice, “NEVER!”
He then shoots Toodles, as he lets out a scream that’s realistic and Chinese rather than cartoon, Mickey was so surprised as he and the FBI will work together to use their newfound power for evil.
“Guys! We are official agents, going to invade all of the clubhouse.” He yelled.
The FBI cheered as they and Mickey went out of the clubhouse, it then shows Professor Von Drake working on his latest invention, just then Mickey Mouse and the FBI came down.
“Mickey, what are you doing here, why did you hire the FBI, and where’s Toodles?” Professor Von Drake asked in shock.
“I hired the FBI and I shot him, so that means you are N,E,X,T, Next.” Mickey shouted mockingly.
He And The FBI shot Professor Von Drake, he was screaming as he was being shot.
It then cut to Chip and Dale talking to each other.
”Hey, Dale, where’s Mickey?” Chip asked.
”He probably has the FBI To work together and shoot everyone in our clubhouse,” Dale Said.
”Oh yeah!” Chip said.
Suddenly, they heard a gunshot noise, and a bullet shooting Chip.
”CHIP! NO…” Dale Yelled.
Just then a bullet went though Dale which he died.
”Heh. Dumb old fuckers.” Mickey said.
I was shocked to hear a character swear.
It Then cut to Pete making a sandwich.
Suddenly, Mickey appeared next to him.
”Hello, Pete.” Mickey greeted.
”Mickey?” Pete asked. “Is that really you?”
He didn’t answer as he shot Pete.
He fell on the floor which he was dead.
It then cut to Clarabelle working at her moo mart until suddenly, Mickey appeared in front of him.
“Hello, Cow.” Mickey greeted.
“Mickey?” Clarabelle asked. “What happened to you?”
”I am now working with the FBI!” Mickey told her.
“What? FBI?!” Clarabelle asked.
“Well well well, in that case…” Mickey said before pointing the gun at Clarabelle. “Any last words?”
“Mickey, please, you have to believe me. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Clarabelle pleaded.
“Save it, Clarabelle. You’ve been selling expired milk and I won’t let you get away with it,” Mickey said coldly.
Clarabelle could see the rage and determination in Mickey’s eyes, and she knew she had no chance. She closed her eyes and braced herself for what was about to come, as Mickey pulled the trigger.
But instead of a gunshot, all she heard was a loud fart noise.
“What the…” Mickey said, confused.
Clarabelle opened her eyes and saw that the gun was actually a toy gun, with a label that read “Prankster Pete’s Magic Gun.”
“Pete!” Mickey shouted in frustration before storming out of the store.
It then cut to Mortimer just watching the foggy red sky.
Mortimer shook his head in disbelief as the sky turned a deep shade of red, almost as if it was bleeding. He couldn’t help but wonder what kind of a world he was living in. As he lost himself in his thoughts, a sudden outburst interrupted his tranquil state.
“SHOOT HIM RIGHT NOW!” a man’s voice boomed, followed by the sound of a gunshot.
Mortimer’s head snapped up, his heart racing as he tried to make sense of the chaos around him. Who was yelling? Who was being shot? And most importantly, where was he?
Confusion clouding his mind, Mortimer looked around frantically, trying to piece together the puzzle when suddenly, a figure appeared in front of him.
It was Mickey.
“FBI, Freeze! We have you surrounded!” Mickey bellowed, aiming a gun at Mortimer with a fierce determination.
Mortimer’s heart sank as his last hope of escape vanished. He was torn between surrendering and making a run for it.
And then he remembered why he was in this situation in the first place. The cruelty, the injustice, the lies that had pushed him to the brink of desperation.
“Not today…” Mortimer muttered under his breath, his voice filled with determination as he made his decision.
He took off, running as fast as his legs could carry him, the sound of gunshots echoing in his ears. The foggy red sky seemed to reflect his inner turmoil as he disappeared into the mist, leaving Mickey and the other agents behind in a trail of doubts and questions.
As Mortimer ran, Mickey became so furious that he shouted out loud “What a whore.” before walking away.
It then cut to a montage of Mickey and the FBI shooting everyone else in the clubhouse, without Mortimer and Clarabelle.
After The Montage Was Over, It Showed The Clubhouse but It Looked Different.
The trees were wilted, the grass and hills were brown, everything was damaged, and the clouds were grey. It was also playing Together Forever by Rick Astley but reversed.
Suddenly, it panned up to a helicopter, except it looked like it was almost destroyed.
It then shows the inside, with Mickey and 2 guys in the FBI celebrating, as the Hot Dog dance began playing.
Just then, Mickey looked at the camera.
”Now you must remember my golden rule: Disobey us, and you’ll either be arrested or shot! Oh, and thanks for stopping by.” Mickey said.
Just then Mickey and 2 guys in the FBI then walked away.
Just then, the camera panned onto Ruthie and Lucy from 7th Heaven, which was shocking to me as 7th Heaven wasn’t owned by Disney at all.
“Wait, what? How are they on the TV screen? And why are they smiling and humming?” I said, muttering under my breath.
As their serene faces contrasted with the chaos happening in the clubhouse, Ruthie and Lucy turn to me with an unsettling sense of familiarity.
“Oh, we haven’t forgotten about dealing with you!” Ruthie said, smiling.
“Do you know what we do while we are not affected by chaos? Humming and smiling.” Lucy said also smiling.
“Well, what are you gonna do? Jump out of the TV and kill me? Like that’s gonna happen.” I said, a bit unafraid.
“No, we wouldn’t do that, darling.” Ruthie said, still smiling.
“In fact, I have a special surprise for you.” Lucy said, still smiling.
“What kind of surprise?” I said suspiciously.
Lucy then pulls out a piece of paper and said “Your address”.
I was mortified, how do they know where i live?
“What?! How do you know where I live?!” I screamed.
“Oh, sweetheart… let us explain why. The reason is that you are so very attractive.” Ruthie said still smiling.
“And you are a cutie pie.” Lucy nodded.
“Um, thanks? But how does that explain why you have my address?” I flustered.
“Let’s just say we have our ways.” Ruthie said, still smiling.
“And now we have a special plan for you.” Lucy smirked.
“What kind of plan?” I said, concerned.
“It’s a surprise, darling. And trust us, you’ll love it.” Ruthie said, still smiling.
“See you soon, sweetie.” Lucy said, also smiling.
“Wait, what?! Now this is the last straw.” I panicked under my breath, before i grabbed the remote.
“Oh and by the way, we have guests to ask you cause we love you,” Ruthie said offscreen as she and Lucy walked away.
‘Wow… What could it be?’ I asked.
Just then, Gossip Girl, Blair, and Serena all came into the shot with happy smiles on their faces.
“Hey! We haven’t forgotten about dealing with you, cutie pie!” Blair said with a soft and loving smile.
“Aww… You’re such a cutie pie,” Gossip Girl chimed in. “That’s why we will come to your house soon. Xoxo, Gossip Girl.”
“Hey, cutie pie, did you know that Ruthie and Lucy are coming to your house?” Serena asked me with the most loving smile on her face.
“I know. What about you three?” I asked.
“Oh yeah! We’re also coming to your house to babysit you,” Gossip Girl replied.
“I think you deserve to be taken care of, sweetie,” Blair added.
“Aww, Queen Bee… Thanks,” I said, feeling touched.
“Don’t cry, sweetie,” Gossip Girl comforted me. ‘Xoxo, Gossip Girl.’
“You’re welcome, sweetie!” Blair exclaimed.
“And also, if you excuse us, darling, we’ll be at your doorstep and babysit you while Ruthie and Lucy will also do the same as us,” Serena said.
“I agree!” Gossip Girl and Blair said in unison before the three of them walked away, humming softly. As they left, they each gave the TV screen a kiss offscreen.
“Wow… I feel so loved and lucky to have such amazing friends like you three,” I said, smiling.
“You are loved, sweetheart,” Gossip Girl said with a smile. “And we will always be here for you.”
“Thanks for everything, girls,” I said, feeling grateful for their friendship.
“Anytime, cutie pie,” Blair said, giving the TV screen a pat on the back before they all left.
I couldn’t wait any longer for the episode to end, so i pressed fast forward to skip to the credits, but they were off.
Instead of showing cilps from the episode, it was replaced with the FBI headquarters. I could hear Mickey saying “Hiya everybody! I have shot everyone with the FBI, Why?, Because I fixed all of this, And If your watching this, then you will just suffer! What a hot dog day, see you real soon!”. It was also playing a demonic version of the end credits theme too.
After Mickey said that, he laughed like Headless Horseman.
The logos then came up but they were also off.
The Disney Television Animation logo came up, but the background was dark blue and the castle looked like it has been hit by a bomb.
The Disney Junior logo came up, but it was the same as The PJ Demons, unlike the one from the DVD opening.
After the logos, it cut to black, and luckily i still have my remote so i can turn off the TV, but before i could there was no jumpscare. Instead there were 6 letters saying:
”We are coming for you next!”, followed by a demonic laugh.
After that, it took me back to the menu.
I was so frightened of what I had witnessed.
“Oh my god…” I muttered under my breath. “Childhood bashed again?! I don’t think so.”
I took out the DVD and burned it with a lighter in frustration.
I then went in my bedroom to sleep, but it was until 2:38 AM, where suddenly, Gossip Girl, Blair, Serena, Ruthie and Lucy all showed up in my bedroom, watching me sleep.
“Aww, he is so cute when he is sleeping. Can we actually agree?” Gossip Girl asked, softly.
“Yeah! He sure is!” Lucy asked.
“Definitively.” Serena added, before she starts touching my cheeks and singing softly.
“Of course he is!” Blair added, also joining in.
“I think he deserves to be a baby after all. I love when he sleeps.” Ruthie asked gently.
“What are you guys doing in my room?” I asked, confused and still half asleep.
“We just wanted a girls’ night in and we couldn’t resist the temptation of watching you sleep. You look so peaceful and innocent,” replied Blair with a grin.
“Well, I appreciate the compliment, but it’s kind of creepy that you all came into my room without my knowledge,” I said, starting to feel a little uncomfortable.
“Oh come on, it’s not like we’re strangers. We’ve been friends for years,” Lucy said, trying to reassure me.
“Yeah, and we just wanted to celebrate our friendship by having a sleepover,” added Ruthie.
“Well, I have work in the morning, so I think you should watch me sleep,” I said, starting to feel more awake and assertive.
“Watch you sleep?” Serena asked, smiling. “Of course, honey.”
She gently brushed my hair away from my face and placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
“Same here. I think you look so pretty and adorable. Pretty attractive!” Blair added, joining in on the conversation.
“Me too,” Gossip Girl chimed in, her eyes filled with admiration.
“I could watch you sleep all night.”
“Me three,” Ruthie added, before leaning in to give me a gentle kiss on the forehead.
“And me four, plus we’ll be with you while you sleep, honey,” Lucy said with a loving smile, wrapping an arm around me. “We’ll make sure you have sweet dreams.”
I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by their love and affection. “Thank you, guys. I feel so lucky to have such amazing friends.” I hugged them all tightly, still in my bed, feeling content and loved as they gathered around me.
“Goodnight, my dear,” Serena whispered, before turning off the lights and watching over me as I drifted off to sleep.
I couldn’t help but wonder why am i never watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse the same way again, as well as me having work tomorrow.