Does anyone remember Telecapri News?
TCN-TeleCapriNews was born in 1990, as the first quality local “all news” broadcaster in Italy. In analogue, it broadcast its programs on frequencies 53 and 27 for the provinces of Naples and Caserta, on 59 for Avellino, and on 61 and 35 for the province of Salerno. Digitally, it was broadcast on the TeleCapri mux (UHF 41) and was visible on remote control channel 185 (LCN) (previously on channel 74 occupied by the same band as TeleCapri Sport).
However, there could be one incident from a show that used to air on that channel, so it’s going to be Rapporto Salute.
It all started when i was minding our business.
Suddenly, i notice a DVD lying on the floor.
I grabbed the DVD and turned it over myself.
I looked the front of the DVD.
The DVD consisted of journalists from Telecapri News on a red-looking like background, and it had the words “Rapporto Salute Never Before Seen Episode!”
I was surprised, Telecapri News never released DVDs.
“This seems interesting, but too bad Telecapri never released DVDs…” I muttered.
I then grabbed the disc and put it in my DVD player. To my surprise, it showed the Rapporto Salute intro which was surprisingly normal.
After the intro, It then showed Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan from Desperate Housewives, inside of Wisteria Lane sitting in a sofa, they smiled as if they are unaware of what happens.
“Good morning, honey,” Bree said to me.
“Um… Who’s talking to me?” I said at the TV screen.
“Of course it’s me!” Bree asked to me, still smiling.
“Good morning, darling.” Susan said as if she asked to me.
“Today we’re gonna go on a murdering spree.” Gabrielle giggled with no sinister hints, just soft and sweet.
“Yeah! We’d kill people with our affection so that you will be our next beautiful person,” Lynette asked to me nicely, as the four girls got out of the sofa and Susan grabs a knife from the kitchen and puts it in her pocket.
“What are you doing?” I asked at the TV screen.
“Just relax, honey.” Susan winked at me. “You’ll see what happens…”
“Like, yeah. Susan is right.” Gabrielle added.
The four girls then got out of the sofa and went outside, starting to hum as they got on the car, with Gabrielle being the driver’s seat, Susan being the passenger’s and Bree and Lynette in the back, as they drove off to start a sweet murdering spree with them.
“Oh no…” I muttered.
“So, girls, what’s the plan?” Susan asked.
“Going on a murdering spree!” Bree added with a smile, and no sinister hints.
“Good! Now… Mike, here we come.” Susan added, as Lynette drives while Gabrielle, Susan, Bree and Lynette continue to hum ready to kill Mike Delfino.
“Ready or not, Mike Delfino, here we come.” Gabrielle said.
“We’ve got a plan, and we’re sticking to it.” Gabrielle added.
“Just drive, Gabrielle. We’ll take care of the rest.” Lynette asked as Gabrielle kept driving.
“Remember, girls, no mercy.” Susan laughed to the girls.
“Murder spree, murder spree, we’re coming for you, Mike.” Gabrielle said, humming.
“Let’s give him a taste of his own medicine.” Susan said.
“He deserves what’s coming to him.” Bree said.
“We’re gonna make sure he pays.” Lynette asked.
“He’s not gonna know what hit him.” Gabrielle asked.
“Murder spree, murder spree, let’s do this.” Susan added.
“We’re gonna make him regret the day he ever crossed our paths.” Bree giggled.
“He’s gonna wish he had never been born.” Lynette asked.
“Mike Delfino, you’re a dead man.” Gabrielle said, in hinting of killing Mike.
“Murder spree, murder spree, it’s time to take you out.” Susan laughed.
“All together now.” Lynette added.
“Murder spree, murder spree!” They all said in unison.
It then cut to Mike Delfino sitting alone in a bar. That was until a car passes by him. Susan, Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette then got out of the car as Susan grabbed out her knife from the pocket, with smiles of no sinister.
“Seems like i’m going to take a sip…” Mike added.
“Hey Mike!” Susan said, gently and comfortly.
“We have a surprise for you.” Lynette asked Mike before she approached him and gently touched his cheeks.
“What is it?” Mike asked.
“We will kill you.” Lynette said, softly and sweetly, still touching his cheeks.
“Why? Why killing me?!” Mike asked.
“Because… You’ve been cheating on Susan for a medic from the Emergency Room, honey. You deserve to go to heaven if you want.” Lynette smiled at Mike, with a hint of satisfaction, still touching his cheeks.
“Oh, Mike…” Bree said, going faster to Mike and touching his cheeks too.
“Have you went to heaven before?” Gabrielle added, touching his cheeks as well, soft and sweet.
“No… I don’t wanna die…” Mike started to cry.
“Aww… Don’t cry…” Lynette asked to Mike as she wiped out his tears and hugged him, while still touching his cheeks. “We will be there for you.”
Susan, who is still holding a knife in her hand, goes closer to Mike and said: “In heaven because you deserve it.” Before stabbing Mike’s head two times, and slicing it off. Just then, Susan went over to Mike’s head and kissed him all over, until she stops.
“Goodnight, honey. See you in heaven.” Susan says, as she, Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette all hummed together as they get in the car again, and drove off.
But, this isn’t over just yet.
It then showed the Emergency Room hospital at night, and Edie (who was killed in the 5th season of Desperate Housewives) and Katherine are sitting on a table singing softly without being interrupted.
Suddenly, a medic showed up out of nowhere.
“Oh, hello darling, how are you?” Edie said, while still humming softly.
“I’m good. Now i need to take the autopsy of Susan’s ex-husband, Mike Delfino, who was killed by her. Trust me, i’ll be right back.” The Emergency Room medic said as he walked away from them.
“So, Katherine, I have a plan. Can we hum to that ER medic in his ear? But first we have to wait on Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan.”, Edie asked Katherine.
“That’s a good idea.” Katherine replied, whispering.
“Good deed…” Edie added.
“Now let’s wait for them.” Edie said, as she and Katherine continued to sing softly.
After a couple of seconds of singing softly, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette and Susan all showed up with smiles on their faces, with Susan still holding a knife in her hand.
“Hey there, girls! And Edie, i thought you’re dead…” Susan said friendly.
“Oh! I was dead for sure, but someone just revived me. So…” Edie said, as she hugged Susan and this caused Bree, Gabrielle and Lynette to join in as well.
“This is so cute.” Katherine added.
“Oh, and one more thing… We are on a murdering spree.” Lynette added with a smile.
“Wow! I love murder sprees!” Edie gently cheered.
“I would love to join, can we?” Katherine added.
“Of course!” Bree said, as she let both Katherine and Edie join in.
“We are definitely never gonna stop!” Gabrielle exclaimed.
“Now that we are united, we have to hum to the medic from the Emergency Room that my husband Mike, even though i killed him, was cheating on me. What song should we recommend, girls?” Susan said with a smile.
“Perhaps ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Elton John? It’s a classic revenge anthem.” Bree added.
“Or how about ‘I Will Survive’ by Gloria Gaynor? A bit overused, but it’s catchy.” Gabrielle asked.
“I like ‘You Oughta Know’ by Alanis Morissette. It’s got a certain… bitterness to it that seems appropriate.” Lynette questioned.
“I vote for ‘Hit Me with Your Best Shot’ by Pat Benatar. It’s a bold and assertive anthem.” Edie added.
“I prefer “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, too. It’s both a lullaby and a nursery rhyme to be honest…” Katherine asked with a smile.
“Excellent choices, ladies! We’ll definitely consider them. Now, let’s get to work!” Susan thought in excitement as she, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Edie and Katherine walk from the room and into the autopsy room where the medic from the Emergency Room was doing on a autopsy on Mike Delfino who was killed by her.
“I prefer “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, too. It’s both a lullaby and a nursery rhyme to be honest…” Katherine asked with a smile.
“Excellent choices, ladies! We’ll definitely consider them. Now, let’s get to work!” Susan thought in excitement as she, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Edie and Katherine walk from the room and into the autopsy room where the medic from the Emergency Room was doing on a autopsy on Mike Delfino who was killed by her.
“According to sources from the newspaper, it would have been that Mike died between being stabbed and cut to his head by Susan Mayer, ex-wife, the one who cheated on her for me. There are two wounds both to the shoulder and a kiss on the cheek to the head,” the Emergency Room medic said as he continued to do the autopsy.
As the Emergency Room said that, Susan, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Edie and Katherine all giggled and smiled at the scene.
“Have you seen? He’s doing an autopsy on Mike Delfino, my ex-husband who i killed for cheating on me. So cute.” Susan added.
“Yeah! It’s too cute to resist. We have to senerade him as a result, then we’ll make him fall asleep.” Lynette asked.
“Maybe humming Twinkle Twinkle Little Star could be better… But you girls can start now.” Bree added nicely.
“That’s a good idea…” Edie asked. She then whispered in Susan’s ear with “Shall we start now?”.
“Of course, Edie!” Susan replied, before looking at the Emergency Room medic with a smile, same to the others.
“Hey, honey, we have a surprise for you, do you want to be seneraded?” Gabrielle asked, with a smile.
“No thank you, i need to do an autopsy on Su-” the Emergency Room said, but before he could finish his sentence…
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie and Katherine they approach the medic from ER, and they begin to caress his entire body, from his cheek to his knees, humming to him softly.
“My, what a handsome little cutie pie.” Bree said kissing the medic’s cheek.
“Well, if you’re a cutie pie, we’ll allow it.” Gabrielle said, continuing to hum to him.
“We are housewives, after all.” Katherine said still caressing the medic’s body.
“Why not take a nap instead of toiling away at autopsies? It’s much more enjoyable.” Susan said, still senerading him.
“You’re so irresistible. Every nap you take will be like a dream of paradise when you pass on.” Lynette said, whispering in the medic’s ear.
“You deserve a good snooze.” Edie said, kissing the medic on the lips.
“Any last words, my dear?” All six women said to the medic, singing in unison.
“Please, stop! I don’t want to be surrounded!” The medic said in frustration.
“Too bad, but it’s time for you to slumber.” Susan said as she pointed the knife towards the medic’s chest and stabbed it three times, killing the medic instantly.
Edie then went over to the medic’s head and grabbed it.
“Goodnight, my love, goodnight.” Edie said, kissing the medic’s head.
The six women then exit the hospital, laughing and humming.
“Did they just kill an Emergency Room character or something?!” I asked. “That’s not how it works.”
But, this isn’t over just yet.
It then showed the place from the FBI at night, and an agent was sleeping on the bed.
As this showed, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie and Katherine entered the room and slowly walked towards the bed, while watching him with smiles.
“So cute. May I pick him up?” Edie asked.
“Well, sure, do it!” Bree asked.
Edie then picked up an agent and cradles him like an adult instead of a baby.
“There. All done.” Edie said, now rocking the agent back and forth as she still holds him in her arms.
“Good job!” Lynette said with a thumbs up on her.
“So, can we put him in a safe house where he will sleep?” Susan asked, with a knife She is still holding in her hand.
“Of course I would say yes!” Gabrielle added.
“Let’s go girls.” Katherine said.
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie (who is still holding the FBI agent back and forth rocking him like an adult and not a baby) and Katherine all exit the place from the FBI, walking.
“What’s up, cutie pie?” Edie said, with a whisper in his ear.
The FBI agent then wakes up suddenly, only to find out he was in her arms.
“Who are you?” The FBI agent whispered.
“Oh, we are housewives, and we are currently on a murdering spree with us. Now just hush and sleep.” Edie said, as she kissed him in his lips.
As they keep walking, Lynette sings a lullaby, called You are my sunshine.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Lynette sings softly as she keeps walking, while looking at the FBI agent still in Edie’s arms.
“You make me happy, when skies are gray…” Lynette keeps singing to the FBI agent, still looking at him.
“You’ll never know, dear, how much i love you…” Edie also sings to the FBI agent still walking and holding him in her arms.
“So, please… Don’t take my sunshine away.” Bree sings as well.
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie and Katherine all started humming after the singing, with Edie humming through the FBI agent’s ear.
As they continued humming and walking, they came across as safe house, and decide to break in, despite the door being open.
Edie then kisses the FBI agent again, as she goes into the bedroom, tucks him in a blanket and she sits on a chair, while waiting for Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan and Katherine to join in.
“Welcome home, cutie pie. You’ll sleep and dream of heaven forever…” Edie winked, as she’s looking at the FBI agent, now sleeping.
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan (still holding a knife in her hand) and Katherine all came to the bedroom, as Susan approached the FBI agent with a friendly smile on her face.
“I’m Susan Mayer, ex-wife of Mike Delfino who cheated me with a medic from the Emergency Room, and we are here to help you go to heaven.” Susan said as she caresses his cheeks.
“Any last words, sweetie?” Katherine added with a smile on her face, showing no signs of hint of sinister.
“Please… Let me out…” The FBI agent whispered.
“Oh, is that all you wanted? Sorry but i think you should slumber now.” Susan said, as she points the knife towards his head.
“Twinkle, twinkle, little star… How i wonder what you are.” Susan sings to him, as she stabs him in the forehead more than 32 times before slicing his whole head off, killing him.
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Edie and Katherine all come closer to the FBI agent’s head and grabbed it.
“Goodnight, cutie pie, goodnight!” Katherine said as she kissed him in the cheek.
All six women then exit the safe house while walking away, humming.
But this wasn’t over yet.
It showed the headquarters of Telecapri News at night.
This was mortifying to me, the headquarters were never shown before.
Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie and Katherine walked towards the headquarters, but in the middle of the headquarters, they saw both Renee and Mary Alice Young (the latter who is killed in the 1st episode of Desperate Housewives), sitting on the bench with smiles on their faces.
Just then, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie and Katherine all came closer to them with beautiful, non-menacing smiles on their faces which makes them friendly.
“Hello, girls. And you, Mary Alice? I’m so happy that you got revived, after 11 years of you dying in the 1st episode of Desperate Housewives…” Susan said with a cute giggle.
“Oh, Susan! I am pleased to recognize you after 11 years since I died.” Mary Alice said as she and Susan shake hands together.
“Nice to see you again, Mary Alice… It’s a miracle.” All the six women said.
“Hey there, Susan! Long time to see ya.” Renee added.
“Long time to see you as well!” All six women also said.
“What are you six doing?” Mary Alice added.
“We are on a beautiful murdering spree.” Bree said with a smile on her face, not showing sinister hints.
“Wow! I love murder sprees!” Mary Alice added cheerfully.
“Same here.” Renee added.
“Can i join?” Mary Alice added.
“Of course.” Susan said, as she let Mary Alice and Renee join.
“Welcome in.” Lynette said with a friendly smile on her face.
“Well, thanks, Lynette.” Mary Alice said.
“You’re welcome!” Lynette added.
“Seems like i totally agree with you all. Reuniting with all 8 of us is beautiful…” Katherine added with a smile.
“Same here.” Gabrielle added.
“You girls are right. We are all 8 housewives after all…” Edie said smiling.
“You are all right!” Renee added.
“Definitely. We are all of the 8 of us too.” Susan exclaimed.
“Totally a big Desperate Housewives reunion, as we all know.” Lynette giggled.
“Totally it is!” Mary Alice added.
“Totally. Also, we have another plan. We have to hum to a collaborator from Telecapri News who makes him put on the transmission signal. Then, we’ll put him to sleep, and we’ll hijack the signal from Telecapri News. What song should we recommend, from Nursery rhymes to lullabies?” Susan asked.
“Seriously, honestly it’s Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, one of our favorites.” Bree asked.
“We highly recommend it!” Susan said smiling.
“Alright, girls!” Mary Alice says with a smile.
“So, can we start now?” Edie whispered in Susan’s ear.
“Of course!” Susan whispered back to Edie.
“Well, then girls, let’s take a step, little by little, now…” Katherine suggested.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all walked slowly to the entrance of the headquarters, as they see the entire place, they then saw the collaborator, but instead of them being menacing, they just keep smiling at him, friendly and softly.
“Look at him.” Bree said pointing the collaborator who works at Telecapri News.
“He’s so beautiful!” Gabrielle added.
“How cutie pie he is…” Renee added gently.
“Can we hum to him in his ear while caressing his entire body?” Lynette asked.
“Of course. For us, we love him endlessly.” Susan asked.
“Totally. Can i also cradle him like an adult and rock him back and forth?” Edie asked.
“Sure!” Susan added.
“Can i also give him a baby bottle as well?” Katherine said as she handed a baby bottle with milk as well.
“Yes, Katherine.” Susan said.
“And can we also kidnap him too? We forgot about that.” Mary Alice giggled.
“Excellent ideas, girls. Let’s start now!” Susan cheered.
Then, Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all went closer to the collaborator and they start either to hum and caress him all over his body, while Edie cradles him like an adult, Katherine gives him the baby bottle with milk, and Renee sings the humming part in Vanessa L. Williams’ voice.
After that, the collaborator was then stabbed by Susan in his chest, causing him to die.
He then fell on the ground with no purpose, dead.
“Now, girls, let’s hijack that transmission signal!” Susan exclaimed cheerfully.
After that, the collaborator was then stabbed by Susan in his chest, causing him to die.
He then fell on the ground with no purpose, dead.
“Now, girls, let’s hijack that transmission signal!” Susan exclaimed cheerfully.
“Good idea!” Bree said.
“Totally… We’ll make Rapporto Salute more than an R-rated TV show.” Mary Alice asked.
“What are they talking about?! Rapporto Salute being a R-rated TV show?! That won’t happen.” I said at the screen watching the scene.
All of a sudden, Mary Alice noticed me on the screen, smiling.
“Cutie pie, it will happen. Just watch what happens, we are currently on a murdering spree. this is why we love you…” Mary Alice said to me with a wink on the screen.
I then went silent for all of this.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee then went to the room where the transmission signal was and got to control it, causing it to hijack and for the signal to go static, which luckily never happened to me.
“Woohoo! We did it!” Susan shouted happily.
“We did everything to hijack the Telecapri News signal. And this is definitely the best day ever!” Bree shouted also happily.
“I agree!” Edie also shouted happily, jumping in joy.
“Me too.” Renee added.
“Me three.” Katherine joyfully cheered.
“Me four!” Mary Alice said.
“Me five!” Gabrielle exclaimed.
“Me six!” Lynette said.
“Furthermore, since we hijacked the Telecapri News signal, we have to kill my husband, Tom who cheated on me for another wife. This is gonna be so beautiful.” Lynette asked giggling.
“Yeah! Let’s do this.” Renee said.
“We agree.” Katherine added.
“Totally it is!” Edie cheered.
“Of course.” Bree added.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all exit the Telecapri News headquarters while walking away humming, laughing and giggling together.
But it wasn’t over yet.
It then showed the Scavo house at night.
It then cut to Tom who was watching Telecapri News, just like me as well.
“Just came home from Capri after stealing someone’s TV,” Tom said.
Suddenly, as Rapporto Napoli’s intro ended, the door opened by itself and Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all entered the room, with smiles on their faces, as Lynette come closer to Tom and starts to caress him in his cheeks, playing with his fingers too.
“Hey Tom, or i should say… Honey.” Lynette said in a friendly tone.
“How was your day, sweetie?”, Edie added.
“Edie? I thought you’re dead.” Tom said.
“Of course i was dead in season 5! Trust me, someone revived me.” Edie added, with a friendly smile on her face.
“Oh… Anyways, i’m currently watching Telecapri News right now, so i’m watching an interview they did to me.” Tom said.
“Sweetie, no! There is no time for watching TV. Come on, just take a nice, little nap…” Lynette said, as she starts humming Happy birthday to Tom, softly as she kisses his cheeks.
“Come on, Tom… It’s time for a little nap.” Katherine added with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah…” Bree, Gabrielle, Susan and Renee also added with smiles.
“Also, can we kill you? We also heard that you cheated on me with another wife.” Lynette asked with a friendly and non-menacing tone.
“Um… Why? Why do you accuse me like t-” Tom tries to finish his sentence, but Susan approached at him with a knife on her hand and sat next to Tom.
“Any last words, darling?” Susan said friendly.
“Whoa, please! I didn’t do anything to cheat on someone with a wife. Please! No!” Tom pleaded worriedly.
“Oh, I’m sorry, honey… But it’s time for a nice nap. You deserve it.” Lynette said as she keeps kissing and caressing him, before Susan slowly sliced Tom’s head off, insta-killing him.
Edie then grabbed Tom’s head and kissed him in the forehead.
“Goodnight, Tom.” Edie said.
All 8 women then got out of Tom’s room while humming softly.
But it wasn’t still over yet.
It then showed the Solis house at night.
It showed Carlos sitting on a couch also watching Telecapri News just like me.
“Oh boy, glad i can come back in my childhood days.” Carlos said still watching Telecapri News.
Just then, Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all entered the room, with smiles on their faces.
“Hey there, honey!” Gabrielle exclaimed as she goes to Carlos and caresses him all over his cheeks.
“Close your eyes, darling. It’s time for a nice nap…” Bree sings to Carlos in a sweet and soft voice, as if she puts to her children to sleep.
Edie and Katherine went over to Carlos and kissed him in the cheek.
“How was your day, sweetie?” Edie asked.
“It was good, but what about Gabrielle?” Carlos said.
“She’s currently humming Happy birthday to you in your ear, sweetie.” Katherine said, about to touch Carlos’ cheeks.
“Totally! She is.” Renee said with a smile, as she grabbed Susan’s knife, and goes to Carlos.
“Do you want any last words, my love?” Renee asked with a friendly tone on her face, sounding like if Vanessa L. Williams was gently asking people.
“Um, no?” Carlos asked.
“Sorry, but you should slumber.” Susan replied to Carlos as she closed his eyes, and slowly sliced his head off insta-killing him.
Mary Alice, Katherine and Edie then went over to Carlos’ head as Mary Alice grabbed him and kissed him in the forehead.
“Good night, sweetie. Good night.” Mary Alice whispered in Carlos’ ear.
“We’ll take care of you when you are in heaven.” Edie and Katherine also said in unison, soft and sweet.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee then leave Carlos’ room, while chatting and laughing.
All of a sudden, they see Juanita watching Telecapri Sport as well, but instead of them being questioned they just keep smiling.
“So, Juanita, come to us. We have a surprise for you.” Mary Alice asked in a friendly tone.
“I’m coming!”, Juanita said as she runs to the 8 women smiling next to Juanita while Renee still has Susan’s knife.
“Good evening, sweetie, what is it? Do you watch Telecapri Sport?” Renee asked gently in Vanessa L. Williams’ voice.
“Well, yes, why asking?” Juanita said.
“Well, then this means we’re on a beautiful killing spree. You’re next, sweetie…” Renee said friendly.
“So, any last words?” Gabrielle asked Juanita.
“What?” Juanita asked.
As Juanita said that, Edie comes closer to Juanita and starts singing a song.
“Close your eyes, it’s time to take a little nap… You will dream of heaven now.” Edie sings.
Renee then slowly sliced off Juanita’s head, insta-killing her too.
Lynette then went closer to Juanita’s head and kissed her in her forehead.”
“Goodnight, Juanita. We love you so much.” Lynette said soft and sweet.
“We will take care of you no matter what…” Bree said, as she looks at Juanita’s corpse and blows a kiss on her too.
“Goodnight, honey. Goodnight.” Katherine also said too.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all exit the Solis house while chatting and laughing as well.
It then showed a montage of Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee murdering everyone in Wisteria Lane, including the antagonists from Desperate Housewives. Also, they murdered the journalists from Telecapri, Telecapri News and Telecapri Sport too.
After the montage, it then cut to the Telecapri News headquarters at night, but the sky was now pitch black.
Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all came to the shot with friendly smiles on their faces.
“Oh, good evening, darling!” Mary Alice, Bree, Gabrielle, Lynette, Susan, Edie, Katherine and Renee all greeted me with friendly tones.
“So, we killed people both in Wisteria Lane, our town of Fairview and in Naples, including my husband, Mike, our husbands, enemies, antagonists and we also hijacked the Telecapri News signal, too.” Susan said, cheerfully with a friendly smile.
“We’re right! It’s time, honey, to have a surprise for you.” Edie said in a friendly tone.
“What is it?” I said through the TV screen.
Edie then clears her throat and starts humming all the mentioned songs that their housewives were humming and singing.
After 13 minutes of just the humming, Edie finished and winked at me lovingly.
“That was lovely, isn’t it, girls?” Mary Alice asked.
“Totally!” Renee said.
“I agree.” Katherine remarked.
“Don’t worry, and if you’re seeing this, we’ll pick you up later. We know where you live, honey.” Gabrielle asked in a friendly tone.
“How?! How do you know where i live?” I asked in confusion through the TV screen.
“You’ll see, sweetie. We have our plans, but you don’t have to. Because we are housewives after all!” Bree said winking at me.
Mary Alice then giggled.
“I swear, you’re so cute that we can’t even resist.” Lynette asked to me, also winking at me.
“Now, if you excuse us, like we said, we’ll pick you up later. See you there, darling, and good night.” Susan said, as she blew a kiss on me.
They then left as they hum softly.
I sat at the TV screen, speechless.
Then, it showed the outro for Rapporto Salute, but… OH MY GOD. IT WAS ALL SCREWED UP.
The backgrounds were darkened, it was maroon, or dark red, or crimson, and the music was in G Major. At the end, when the last note hit, i could hear Gabrielle laughing.
Just then it ended and the disc ejected by itself.
“Wow… That was horrible.” I muttered under my breath, before taking out the DVD and throwing it in the trash.
I’ll never watch Telecapri News the same way again, only if you are aware of incidents like this…