A boy named Jett Naumann, now claiming to be McNaumann, was found hiding inside of a local McDonalds during the 1-hour closing / cleaning time ripping through unopened boxes of McGriddled and sausage patties. He appeared rabid with hunger. Local law enforcement noticed commotion when they stopped in to inspect the ice cream machine and quickly apprehended the monster. The perp has refused to comment. Estimated damages are 6 Gorillian dollars.
Boy caught stealing all the McGriddles, faces life in time out.
