Milan, Italy – September 7, 2024 — An unprecedented heist has taken the idyllic settings of Milan and Lake Como by storm, as an unknown female tourist has embarked on a bizarre spree of pilfering drink coasters and menus from some of Italy’s most charming eateries. This caper, which spanned from August 10th to 23rd, 2024, has left local restaurateurs bewildered, Interpol on high alert, and even the Vatican involved in what is rapidly becoming a modern-day mystery.
The elusive bandit began her escapades in Milan, where she dined in style and departed with more than just a pleasant memory. Patrons reported that she had a unique approach to enjoying her meals: savoring her wine, admiring the coaster with a slightly too-long gaze, and then discreetly slipping it into her bag. From there, she moved on to Lake Como, continuing her spree with an even more daring touch—adding a few menus to her collection.
But the saga didn’t end there. Our intrepid thief then crossed the border into Switzerland, where the international angle of the story unfolded. Swiss authorities, initially amused by the oddity of the situation, quickly joined forces with their Italian counterparts as the coaster caper grew to new heights.
Interpol, now deeply involved, has issued a global alert for the “Great Drink Coaster Bandit.” “We’ve seen all sorts of thefts,” said an Interpol spokesperson, “but this is a first for stealing drink coasters and menus. It’s like a bizarre combination of a souvenir hunt and a heist film.”
Adding a divine twist to the tale, the Vatican has also weighed in on the matter. In a surprising turn, the Holy See has issued a formal plea for the return of the stolen items, with an added spiritual commentary. “We are concerned about the sanctity of our culinary relics,” stated a Vatican representative. “It is not just the physical coasters and menus we seek, but a return to moral balance. We urge the individual to reconsider her actions and return the stolen items. The act of taking what does not belong to you is a sin, even if it’s a coaster! Remember – God Sees All!”
The Vatican’s involvement has prompted a curious response from the public, with some suggesting that the bandit might have been motivated by a desire for divine intervention or perhaps even a holy quest for perfect drink coasters.
Milan restaurateur Alessandra, who had her prized collection of coasters mysteriously reduced to a mere half, commented, “I’m flattered that our coasters are considered valuable, but I’d rather have them back than have my restaurant involved in an international scandal. She could have just asked for one as a souvenir!”
As the hunt for the elusive coaster collector continues, the world watches with fascination. Will the mysterious tourist heed the Vatican’s call and return her stolen goods? Or will the case of the Great Drink Coaster Bandit remain a puzzling enigma, destined to be discussed in hushed tones over the very coasters she sought to collect?
For now, Milan, Lake Como, and even the Vatican hold their breath, hoping for a resolution to this unique and intriguing mystery.