Vladimir Putin’s War Crimes Were “Inspired by Clash of Clans”, a Source Reports

In a stunning revelation, a source close to Russian President Vladimir Putin has told The New York Times that Putin’s war crimes in Ukraine were “inspired by” the popular mobile game Clash of Clans.

The source, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that Putin was a “big fan” of the game and that he often played it during his downtime. The source said that Putin was particularly fond of the game’s “build-up, attack, and defend” gameplay loop, which he saw as a model for how to wage war.

“Putin saw Clash of Clans as a way to win wars without having to put his own soldiers in harm’s way,” the source said. “He thought that by using drones and other advanced technology, he could destroy his enemies from afar without having to risk any Russian casualties.”

The source said that Putin’s admiration for Clash of Clans led him to make a number of strategic decisions in the war in Ukraine that have been widely condemned as war crimes. For example, the source said that Putin’s decision to shell Ukrainian cities from afar was directly inspired by the game’s “attack” mechanic.

“Putin saw the shelling of Ukrainian cities as a way to ‘weaken’ his enemies before launching a final assault,” the source said. “He thought that by destroying Ukrainian infrastructure and killing civilians, he could demoralize the Ukrainian resistance and make it easier for his forces to take control of the country.”

The source said that Putin’s admiration for Clash of Clans also led him to make a number of tactical decisions in the war that have been costly in terms of Russian lives. For example, the source said that Putin’s decision to send Russian troops into urban areas without adequate air support was directly inspired by the game’s “defend” mechanic.

“Putin thought that by sending his troops into urban areas, he could create a ‘meat grinder’ effect that would grind down the Ukrainian resistance,” the source said. “However, he failed to take into account the fact that Ukrainian civilians would fight back with everything they had, and his troops were quickly overwhelmed.”

The source said that Putin’s admiration for Clash of Clans has had a devastating impact on the people of Ukraine. The source said that Putin’s war crimes have killed thousands of civilians, displaced millions more, and destroyed entire cities.

“Putin’s war crimes are a stain on his legacy and a crime against humanity,” the source said. “He must be held accountable for his actions.”

The source’s claims have not been independently verified, but they come at a time when Putin is facing increasing scrutiny for his actions in Ukraine. The International Criminal Court (ICC) has opened an investigation into possible war crimes in Ukraine, and the United States and its allies have imposed a series of sanctions on Russia in response to the invasion.

Putin has denied all allegations of war crimes, and he has accused the West of trying to “destabilize” Russia.

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