In a recent confession from Jack Paley, a junior at Indiana University, he came across the long lost Genie Lamp that has been considered lost treasure for centuries. He claims he was “just walking home” when someone was having a garage sale and spotted it from the sidewalk. Before even purchasing the item, eye witnesses report him wishing for not one but TWO genie blowjobs in a row. Reports show that his pants flew off exposing himself to a number of children and elders then a magical man did the deed… TWICE. Not only will this man be going to jail but he had the chance to fix this hell of a planet and wasted it on falic gestures. Keep praying America.